Family get togethers, office parties, neighborhood gatherings—at this time of year we have so any opportunities for encountering the relationship dynamics that exist in our lives. At other times of the year they may be less apparent, more able to recede into the background or be avoided but the holidays bring us right up against them!
A major necessity for healthy relationships that work for all involved are good boundaries. Without them we fall into victimhood, feel out of control and overwhelmed by the demands, needs and desires of those around us.
How can we begin to approach this issue of establishing healthy boundaries?
1. Develop self respect, self love and self acceptance. We have all heard that we need to care for ourselves before we can to truly care for others. This must become a reality that lives within you instead of simply an idea that exists in your mind.
2. Boundaries are not about conflict, acting against another or doing something TO them. Boundaries are about identifying what YOU will do, be, tolerate or expect in a relationship. With healthy boundaries you take charge of your self you do not and cannot control others.
3. Bring your focus back to yourself instead of trying to be in another’s head attempting to mind read them. Be clear on your values. Identify your beliefs about what is important and healthy for you.
4. Center and ground within your own energy field. Work with techniques that help you to connect with your core, practicing until you can reliably contact the peace and love that naturally exists there. Develop the ability to maintain that focus, learn to live from that center instead of attempting to think or analyze your way through each relationship situation. Working in this way provides you with a more reliable means of creating healthy boundaries out of which flows the most appropriate and kind response to others.