Photo by Sonia’s View
Moving forward and creating change in our lives is always challenging and New Year resolutions are no exception! There are many reasons for change to be difficult, but today I would like to focus on one that most of us never think about and therefore cannot address.
An often hidden, but major, stumbling block to change of any kind — let alone New Year resolutions– is that of “unattended losses”. We all have them, but often do not even know they are there, or that they require some attention from us. And it can be added that the part of us that seeks pleasure and avoids pain would sooner that we leave well enough alone and move on! However, if we take this approach we are trading what may be a short term respite from discomfort for long term trouble.
The pockets of unattended grief referred to can be attached to small, medium and large losses. Red flags that may help us discover these hidden pockets are heightened reactions of or chronic patterns of stress, regret, sadness, unhappiness, disappointment, or worry. Of course unattended grief may not be the only reason for these feelings but it is one to consider as they not only create inner disturbances, they also make it difficult to make clear intentions for change and have the required energy to stay with them.
Any grief, sorrow, sadness or anger that has not been brought through to completion continues to rock around in our unconscious blocking the full healthy flow of energy that fuels forward movement. Just as we need to empty a closet of the old to make space for the new, our inner world needs to be cleared, pruned or aired out regularly.
Let’s Get Physical
Our thoughts, feelings dreams and desires are not simply mental constructs that float around in the ethers. They are very real energetic manifestations that affect our physiology and require a process in order to be moved in a way that benefits us. E.G. we all hear about letting go but how many REALLY know how to do this? Letting go requires more than an idea and lip service.
Our energy and nervous system require the experience of letting go (not merely thoughts of letting go) in order for it to truly happen. Simply thinking about letting go or knowing that it is a good and necessary thing is not enough…we just don’t work that way. Tools or “inner technologies” that can help bring the concept of releasing into reality are: breathwork, meditation, certain imagery, emotional freedom technique, journaling, learning to shift levels of consciousness, and energy healing techniques can all be helpful in bringing about true inner release, as well as to assist with integrating new skills and states of awareness.
Helpful Tools
Proper planning, making lists, using vision boards and using goal setting techniques are all useful for resolution making and execution. But they will not be effective in a lasting way if there is not inner free and clear space for new resolution to take root and flourish.
Our recording Letting Go: The Heart of Healing includes three techniques to help you let go and move on.
Letting go of old toxic stuck energies is the heart of healing because until we truly clear out the old programs and unresolved emotions and stories from our systems nothing new can really take root deep within our consciousness to become a new center of strength, power and freedom to guide our lives.
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