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In our western culture there is a tendency to associate grief with only death or other major losses. The truth is that we experience
grief in many other circumstances over the course of a lifetime. We experience grief in large and small ways as we move on from a particular life stage, change jobs, leave relationships or places. To our detriment we commonly do not give time and space to the losses involved as we anticipate and move forward with the changes. We may believe the lie that if we ignore difficult feelings they will go away. They won’t. They will only be driven deep inside us only to cause problems later in ways that we will not recognize as being connected to our losses. The opposite of ignoring our grief is to use it as an excuse to not move forward. Grief can be a great gift in that to move beyond it we need to be honest with ourselves, own all our feelings, and bring them to the light of day. By doing so we discover stength and wisdom we did not know we had and open up our inner space so we can ultimately hold more joy and happiness.
If we are to be whole and honor ourselves deeply, we need to acknowledge all of our life experience without getting stuck in any one place. Life is like the picture above…there are rocks and gritty sand, but there are also deep cleansing opportunities such as the ocean provides, power to be harnessed such as that in the waves…and the shining light of awareness just like the sun.
Our current world/life situation is a good example of how we can overlook and not honor our essential nature on life’s journey. We are in the midst of a huge transition. Our whole world and everything in it is changing. We know where we have been, but not where we are going. Every facet of modern life is undergoing an unprecedented transformation. This of course causes anxiety. One way to alleviate the anxiety and stress is to look to the past and notice what has been learned, what skills have been developed, what strengths are being brought forward with you? Feel those strengths, own them. Another aspect of this process is to be aware of what you feel/believe you are losing, grieve it and move on to envisioning how you may fill your needs in new and unique ways. In addition to those ways of attending to your own passage through challenging times, you can also ask yourself what is trying to be born in you. What have you not yet grown into that is being challenged to develop, to be brought to the light of day and be expressed in the world? Listening deeply to your soul’s voice and aligning more fully with its energetic flow and tone not only helps to support and nourish you, it also helps you to know where and how to put your feet on a new path and move more in the direction of the best possible expression of you in the world. Coincidentally this is what most helps others!!
Grief is a normal part of our human experience. It can be portal to the soul and to a more whole life experience. Whether your transition is large or small, it is important to give grief your attention, respect and a process for completion. Done properly, grieving is healthy. As you experience i,t know that you are OK. Allow yourself to feel the disappointment, sadness, despair and loss. Then use a ritual of some kind to let it go and free yourself to move on. We are meant to grieve, but not forever! The real gift of grief may be its ability to return you to a more whole, bright, light existence. Grief can open the dark, constricted and conflicted places and open up your capacity to hold a more soulful, enlivened and life enhancing presence.
For tips on managing grief go to: http://karenkallie.com/tips/grieftips.html
Related articles
- Coping With Grief: How to Handle Your Emotions (everydayhealth.com)
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