5-8-15
The times continue to be turbulent and difficult with awareness of the need for growth, change and transformation of ourselves and our world highlighted again and again.
No matter where difficult feelings and stresses originate, we can all contribute to the larger picture, to our shared and connected future by beginning in our own corner of the world. We may not immediately see the ripple effect of caring for our own needs in the midst of chaos, trial and trauma but it truly does have ramifications for the whole and contributes to our ongoing path toward a true understanding and living of Oneness.
Some of the trauma in the world is showing the result of oppression, powerlessness and loss of hope, We can learn to own and use our power positively. We can free ourselves from ties that bind and open our hearts to hope.
Other (or even the same) world events speak to our need to recognize our shared humanity, to open to or develop deep compassion not met before and perhaps to embrace a kind of “spiritual activism” in whatever form that may take for each individual.
This previous post includes suggestions for how we can deal with overwhelming events and feelings in a way that builds and strengthens rather than collapses and weakens.
4-20-13
This has been a very difficult week for so many. We here in the Boston area have had a challenging week to say the least. Texas, China….unfortunately the list could go on and on with recent events as well as with naming the parts of the world where violence and destruction are a daily occurrence.
With all that in mind here is an excerpt of a previously published piece on grief that I hope may be helpful. Grief is not just about death. Grief is something we experience through small and large losses. It is part of the human experience and something we would do well to master–if that is possible! It seems that at this time in history we would be well served by becoming more acquainted with a healthy grieving process, not just for the big events, but also for leaving behind a different world and moving into a “new normal” that will require all our strengths and abilities. The integration process that happens with healthy grieving allows us to live more gracefully with all of life, not just the happy parts…and it also allows for our best qualities to rise to the surface.
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In order to truly know who we are it is imperative that we own all our experience. Too often the emotional aspects of our lives are left unfinished which leads to feelings of being fragmented, disconnected, empty or isolated.
Healthy grieving, as hard as it may be to move through, can be an integrative experience. Healthy grieving helps us to knit together the hurt places opening up hidden strength and courage or developing new capacities for same. Grief helps us be aware of where we hurt so we can open to true surrender and release. Grief may also be a catalyst to identify feelings that leads to definition of authentic needs and healthy boundaries. It can also help separate unhealthy reactivity from deeper, truer emotions that show the doorway to our authentic SELVES. In order for this to happen there must be a space made, opened and honored so that all aspects of experience are given form and released.
Giving Grief A Process
1. Honor your experience by speaking or writing it out. Telling your story, honestly stating how it was for you without laundering it into what you think is acceptable, is crucial. Experience needs to be claimed and witnessed in order to be processed and released. The witnessing, whether by yourself or with another, is best if it is nonjudgmental and compassionate!
2. Engage in a spiritual practice. Practices that help you connect with aspects larger than your ego self help make you feel that you CAN hold all your experience and not be shattered by it. Later you will realize that you can feel it AND let it go; this will give you more ability to feel what is there with courage because you can trust that you do not have to feel it forever.
Spiritual practice also helps you to not feel so empty or isolated. It can provide an infusion of loving, supportive energy that assists you and holds you up when you cannot do it all alone.
3. Seek out others who have been through similar situations. Sharing your experience, weaknesses and strengths is very healing. Both giving and receiving are a part of the natural flow of life. ..a core expression and rhythm of love.
4. Take breaks in your process. Especially if your grief is a large one, it is crucial to the process to give it both active and receptive attention. It is okay to let things rest and gestate for a time.
5. Provide an outlet for release of all thoughts, emotions and beliefs that have been stored up as a result of this loss for you. Create rituals, use intentions that help you to not only uncover and articulate but also for the letting go part.
6. Channel your energy into something positive. One family channeled grief about the loss of a child into a foundation that now raises money for research into childhood illnesses. Another family is honoring the memory of their child by funding a house for families to stay nearby when their sick children are hospitalized. These are two wonderful examples of turning grief into positive action and honor the past while improving the situation for others.
7. See a professional grief counselor if you feel that your grieving process has gone on too long or you feel stuck. A professional can help you reclaim your Self. Emotional Freedom Technique used alone or with a counselor is especially helpful for trauma, loss and grief.
8. Meditation, deep relaxation and energetic approaches to releasing emotions from deep within are essential to truly moving past grief and integrating our experience, so whatever other tools you use it would be beneficial to incorporate one of these methods with it.
Grieving is healthy. As you experience it, know deep down that you are OK. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, despair and loss, but also reach to feel your inner resources of strength, courage and hope. Find the combination of methods that will enable you to let difficult feelings go and move on. We are meant to grieve, but not forever! Just as a lotus flower blooms with its roots in mud, our grief can be a springboard to bringing new aspects of ourselves to a world that sorely needs all our goodness.
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